1. For security guards and protection personell to be able to scan the crowd for protential threats and breaches in security without people knowing exactly where you´re looking. Also it makes the people seem far more brutish and battle scarred.
2. For poker players to hide their surprise at their hand, or to fit some sort of X-ray detail to it to help you cheat and see everyone else´s cards.
3. To bring life to even the most inanimate of objects in ways in which a normal pair of glasses just can´t. Try a few for yourself; your knee, a football, a piece of ham. The possibilities are, quite literally, endless.
4. For looking at the topless girl(s) around the pool without them actually knowing it. Lord knows, they may think you´re asleep if you stay still long enough and decide to get a tan in other places.
5. An impromptu frisbee.
6. For looking at yourself to like you´ve got a much better tan than you actually have.

Thus, as you can see, the amount of fun you can have with a pair of sunglasses is vast, and can quite easily keep you amused for a holiday or two by themselves. Who needs iPods?

Gaz out.

• Tuesday was the day we arrived, and so doesn't really count as a full day per ce. Justifiably, then, I won't comment, as we only spent a few hours there before falling asleep from exhaustion.
• Wednesday was spent on the big beach and in the neighbouring big sea. Burning, swimming, ogling and treks to large blue floating slides abound, it ended prematurely as the lads got back to the hotel early to be instructed on what was happening on the pub crawl that night, though nothing could have prepared for the four bars, numerous games and copious alcohol of the evening. Justifications? The four best bars in Salou, passing ice cubes up trouser legs and drinking beer through your competitor's sock and buy one get one free on '2 for 1' alcopops. Look at the photos, the incredulous amongst ye. We also got a formal complaint for the noise caused when several girls were brought back to the apartment. (Score one for room 420.)
• Thursday was far more action packed still - well, only if by action-packed one classes falling asleep by the pool for most of the morning therein, and by pretenses it was sodding action-stuffed - before partaking in the most violent game of water polo ever played, through which Darren obtained a fantastic war wound. Later, it was back to the bar to witness Saladin the snake holder and his flammable assistant before retiring to our rooms for what should, in all fairness, have been a nice quiet and sober evening. Sleep was interrupted, however, at half one, Danny managed to stampede in and vomit continually for the following hour. Having enough at about 3, I disappeared next door and claimed George's bed. (George was too busy trying to stop Danny choking to death on his own spew.) We got three formal complaints for this night of tomfoolery, putting room 419 ahead. (My room.)

It would be a nice idea now to inform you that photos of most of these events can be found in the photos under the gallery entitled "Salou 2006". However, I didn't get a picture of Danny and his sorry state, though many others did;

•  Friday was spent by Danny, George and myself around the pool, as the rest of the group buggered off to Port Aventura for the day. Thus, nothing happened and they were all too tired in the evening to even fathom going out. So we didn't.
• Saturday was much more fun by comparison to the non-entitiness of Friday. We decided (well, the girls decided) that we were going out on another pub crawl on Saturday night - and so we did. We encountered none of the hijinx of the previous pub crawl with regard to druken entertainment, though we did find a pervert walking around bar 007, and so most of the lads tried to circle him or rope him into the conga line somehow. What larks.
• Sunday must have been fun - mainly as I don't remember what happened. Oh aye, yes I do; some of the lads bar myself and Mo went to the waterpark and got burned horrifically, so we (that is, me and Mo) went shopping for souvenirs and finding restaurants that we could eat at. Sure enough, we went to a pizzeria which served food at the same pace it takes for the average thumbnail to grow, though that was soon cancelled out in the chaos that ensued when Italy won the world cup. I was particularly pleased, as it meant that I could laugh at the French for something else, and I vividly recally telling them loudly in French to take their flags in you 'pathetic excuse for a country.'
• Monday was the last day, really, as we just spent Tuesday sat around the bar watching Pokémon on the TV with the remote we commandeered until we travelled home. We hit the small beach and the small sea, and myself, Kathryn and Kate ventured out on a heebie-jeebie (it wasn't really called that, but I can't remember the real name for it, so it'll do as a name for the motorised pedalo it was in effect) to follow the other lads on their banana-shaped steed. At night we went out for a chinese buffet and then took copious quantities of alcohol onto the beach as the fitting end to a fantastic holiday.

Wish you could've come? And so you should. It was a fantastic holiday that, as far as I can ascertain, enjoyed thoroughly by all. Now, all that remains for you fine people to do is to look through the holiday photos, available to your left. (They're actually on the right, I just wondered how many people I could get to look to the left by saying that.) Gaz out.