And so the epic story that is Gaz carries on into its 19th year of operation. Like some sort of long-running soap opera full of its fair share of drama, excitement, romance and humour (and the occasional boring bits where nothing much happens), the 19th birthday itself didn’t go uncelebrated – oh no. It seems my birthday has the fantastic ability of being able to latch onto vital events in people’s lives – one year it was the end of the Lanzarote festival (and so was welcomed in by fireworks and live bands), and this year it’s the A-level results day, and so my birthday frivolities will have the added pep of drunken students (for whatever reason, be it celebratory or not) and the included merriment of various buy-one-get-seventeen-free offers on drinks and entertainment throughout the town. Huzzah.

It’s also been a day of impulse buying on the part of me, having bought a tuxedo, a book, and three Xbox games with the added agreement to buy a phone on Saturday. Thus, I’m quite chuffed with myself, and relatively safe in the knowledge that I won’t have to buy that many drinks for myself tonight. (Much like lunch that my mother bought me, which was very nice, incidentally.)

Thus, if you’d like to join me for one tonight to see the 19th chapter of my life off to a roaring start, meet me in Varsity at around nine o’clock. Alternatively, I’d be more than happy to go for individual drinks with people who can’t make it/ aren’t old enough yet/ want to go for another one anyway at a later scheduled date.

Oh, and thanks for all the happy birthday texts – they were very nice. The awards for such go as follows;

Gaz out. 

Here's a little quiz to inform you some more about the mysterious, fairly anonymous and oh-so-cool being that is Gaz. Incidentally, I have no idea why I'm typing in comic sans, but that appears to be another of life's mysteries.

HAVE YOU EVER...

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked anything else
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
(x) had/have a crush on one of your MYSPACE friends
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
(x) been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat (wtf?!!!)
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
( ) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look

(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (does snot count?)
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe (that's cute too!)
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey...(WHAT?!)
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed "penis" in class 
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) fucked in a park
( ) fucked in the bathoom
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something (with super super glue, yes)
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole (does an ice pole count?)
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes (Lets not talk about that...)
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) had sex at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel (failed miserably, but I TRIED)
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didnt take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school (uniform)
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch (Qué? - WOW! That south Park episode is so cool!)

( ) played chicken fight (Qué!)
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn

(x) caught a butterfly (Killed it.. but caught it all the same)
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked (You all love that Image...)
(x) French braided someones hair (I belive I tried to French Braid someone's hair in the common room, however I believe I almost pulled the hair out of this person's head and am not entirely sure if I did/do know them.)
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(y) been kicked out of your house (Working on it...)

There we are people. A little more about me. Not that you wanted to know, of course.

Ah, yes, Blogging™. I remember it well. Well, as anyone who knows me will know I've got a lot of Hate coursing through my veins at the moment, I've decided to make it all a bit material. I've found three things that irritate me beyond belief, and so I shall elaborate upon them.

"Love"

Shakespeare said that "If music be the food of love, play on." I'd be tempted to say "If music be the food of love, shut the feck up." Yes, you heard. As you could probably guess, I'm not in love. Nor have ever been, I don't think. However, that's not the point I'm trying to express here, so onto my topic. People use the term 'Love' far too often and freely. Love, by its very definition is one of the strongest emotions one can feel, and this has been eroded by overuse of the word. I heard the other day of a boyfriend and girlfriend who had been together for a day and a half who said they 'loved' one another. I'm sorry, but you don't. After months and months you can be close but still not there. Would you gladly spend your bottom dollar (The phrase: don't assume I'm supporting America in any way, shape or form here.) to help them or to make them slightly happy? Would you wait in the rain for hours just to meet them after work or school? Would you dive in front of a bullet to save them from harm? If so you may well be on the verge of love. But only when you put your principles into practice does it begin to show. It's all very well to think it, but unless you actually do it, no one knows you're sincere.

Now, I'm not for one moment suggesting people go out and start diving in front of bullets just to prove to people that they like them. All I'm suggesting is a bit of a tone down on the use of the word 'love'. Granted, you may feel a mutual liking for someone, but I'm afraid, people, its not love. Family is a prime example of this: Some people would do anything for their family. This is the 'love' I'm talking about. Not tacky, commercialised Love with novelty hearts and balloons. That's just cheap.

Bourgoisement

Outside of Politics Students, few will probably know what this term means. Bourgoisement is the term to define people moving up in a status sense. For example, from lower to lower-middle following a promotion to an office or such. That's all well and good, and I wish people the very best in their careers and to get the best from their lives as they can. But what I can't stand are the people who wake up one morning and decide they are better than they are.

The Bourgeoisie were the Aristocratic class in France that were deposed in the 18th Century following the revolution. (I have my suspicions the term came about from the 'Bourse' or kind-of stock exchange where they had large piles of money tied up.) Now, an example of this is Labour. We all know that I hate Labour as it is, and New Labour even more, and if we didn't, we do now. Labour suddenly decided to adopt a policy of bourgoisement and start to support the middle classes, abandoning the people they should have been supporting. Another example are the chavs or scallies or whatever the hell you want to call them. They wear Burberry and fake gold in an attempt to make themselves look more sophisticated, but only succeed in making themselves look more tramp-like, as its often nothing more than a £5 replica from the market.

English

And before you get any ideas, I'm not having a go at the English, or at the English Language as a whole. Just the fact that this sodding language is too damned soft. Without sounding too pompous, I have a larger vocabulary than the average person, and yet even I struggle to describe myself suitably. I mean, everyone has felt a moment of unbearable hate for something/someone and been completely unable to describe it suitably without either repeating 'very' until they are blue or any such colour in the face or looking up another word like 'loathe', 'despise' or 'hate' in a thesaurus.

All I propose is to create some new words that can be used in extreme circumstances to describe adequately how we feel. Extremes like Hate, Gratuity and Happiness are too fickle to repeat 'really' or 'very' to get the point across, which takes focus away from the word itself anyway. Any ideas for such words, post them below.

That's it now. Toodleoo.

I saw this on someone else's blog™ site and, seeing as it gets me out of doing homework, decided to tell you a little bit more about the eccentric so-and-so I am, as I've been most concentrating on the Daily Blogs™ recently. Not that there's anything wrong with them, mind, just to make it a tad more balanced across the site. So, here we go (Incidentally, I do apologise for any grammatical mistakes in the question titles, I didn't make the quiz, and so should not have the job of tidying it up. The fact I've done it should be reward enough.):

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD (OTHER THAN THIS ONE):
1. Vladamir Ooloncaluphid Wobblebottom III

2. Lord Thistlewick, Duke of Lumpfordchestershire
3. Abraham Cedrick Überloingtment-Fongentula IV 

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My Uncanny ability to stetch seemingly dull and mundane items and events into long, complex and thoroughly rivetting pieces of writing, comme ca. 
2. My Eccentricity
3. I've been told I have sexy legs, so I guess I go with them.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE (can improve) ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. To listen more and not just when its something I'm interested in/curious/concerned about
2. My Sarcasm (Like that'll happen.)
3. My going off onto random tangeants and getting sidetrac...

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Family came over with William The Conqueror in 1066. (Norman) Actually, it was the Duke d'aubigny who was my ancestor, who was subsequently made the Earl of Arundel before the Earl of Sussex and then his execution and the Duke of Norfolk inheriting the title... and the castle.
2. Other part came down from Scotland and helped to rebuild Smithill's Hall after a large fire
3. Probably part Turkish as my surnameis derived from the Moors (Wealth Northern Turkish Family, well, they were technically Ottomanian but nevermind.)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. My knowledge of useless information that seems to spring up here, there and anywhere else.

2. Things happening beyond my control.
3. The future... technically, everyone else should be scared of what I will become, but until then, I'll just be scared for everyone else.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Gel (To ensure I have my characteristic Spikes/Horns)
2. Erythromycin (For spots)
3. Phone (Wouldn't have any means of taking ridiculous photos otherwise)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Unfastened Black Shirt over a white T-shirt

2. Jeans

3. Underpants (CK, if you must know.)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTISTS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Meat Loaf
2. Rammstein
3. Green Day

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS

1. Veal

2. Genuinely Insulting someone in a foreign language

3. Rallying (Mass Speech-making)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (Love is a given):
1. Dignity (I'm having noone who's ashamed of who they are)
2. Trust (To know I'm not going to be bitched about as soon as I turn my back)
3. Happiness (I don't want a relationship to be a misery. Duh.)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (in no order, it’s more fun that way)
1. Write an Incredibly Informal, Useful and Topical Web Journal (Ha!)
2. Done a Hitler Impression on BBC News.
3. Danced to the YMCA with the Village people on stage. (Not the gay ones...)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE SEX YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Bum
2. Nice Smell (Who wants a partner with B.O.?)
3. Cute Nose (I dont want to poke my eye out when I kiss a girl...)

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Apologise
2. Lick my elbow
3. Make sense 100% of the time

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Socialising
2. Writing short stories (< 1 page)
3. Suprising people

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Cuddle someone (Yes, there we have it people. Sentiment. In a Blog™. Now get off my case.)

2. Ride a Golf Buggy over someone I particularly hate... (Oh, the agony of choice.)
3. Seeing as this is an all-age Blog™, I shall not profane this place with my 3rd choice.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Politician
2. Teacher/Lecturer
3. Officer in the Forces (Just to annoy the Parents. I doubt I'll actually do it, but there we are.)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION (its called Holiday damn it):
1. China
2. Canada

3.  Seychelles

THREE FAVORITE KIDS NAMES

1. Dimitri
2. Genevive (Mispronunciation of Geneviève whilst reading a Swiss text)
3. Lucifer (Would make a great conversation... not really practical though.)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get a decent Job that I'm happy and will not get bored with.
2. Be Raised to a Position of Considerable Power
3. Do something to go down in History (Either Famous or Infamous. Either suits me.)

                                                      *****

So, feeling more englightened about me now? Thought not. And, just so you know, I was being selectively truthful.

You know in life, how there are some things that you can't help but look at and think: "Good God...I really hate that!" Well, seeing as I'm bored and have nothing better to do (The alternative being writing Politics Essays, Memorising French or Revising Biology), I've decided to jot down just 5 of the things I really hate. (Not in any particular order, but they do each have an explanation so that I don't seem unmethodical and desperately out of ideas.)

Here we go:

1. People who abbreviate Words

Okay, so here we are: The epitamy of technological, literary and cyberlogical advancement, and what do we have? People spelling words wrong. But, not only are they doing it on purpose, they're doing it uneccessarily and incessantly. (Note; not Incestently. That's just be wrong. And I'm not going on about making 'Do not' into 'Don't', either.) Okay, so I can see the logic behind some of them, i.e. making the odd word shorter and easier to type e.g. 'You' becomes 'u' and 'At the Moment' becomes 'atm'. Somehow, they don't annoy me (Perhaps because I use them when having to explain something for the umpty-seventh time to someone not really paying attention.)

However, there are some that i really can't stand, and they are the ones people use to sound 'cute'. 'With' beciomes 'Wiv' and 'Anthing' becomes 'anyfink'. I mean who, besides the orally challenged, pronounces their words thusly? No-one. Then we get into the whole polava of people abbreviating every other word in a sentence: the end result being that it takes you 3 times as long as it would have to read it normally. Now, call me stupid but(Assuming time to type [T3] = 1, time to abbreviate [TA] = 1/2, and Time to read [TR] is the variable) surely:

   [T3] + [TR] = 2

   [TA] + [TR] = 3.5

I just don't see the logic in it at all. It takes longer on the whole in the end when people abbreviate than it does if they were just to type normally! In texting, it's understandable as every letter costs, but why bother in e-mail?

2. Foreign Languages

Now, before you get this one completely wrong, I'm not a Xenophone. Nor am I a racist. I'm talking strictly from a personal frustration point:

I was sat In Biology the other day, when all of a sudden, several people started to talk in Burjarati I think It was (I couldn't understand it is the point I'm making.) Now, is it just me, or is that a little bit selfish? Okay, so they want to preserve their own culture and everything, but surely they can do it in their own time, and not in an English School?

I think it's Ignorant more than anything. If they have come to an English school, they could at least speak english in lessons? (No problem with them talking to one another in the common room: But not even the teacher can understand what they're saying, so they could well be slagging us all off!

I'd better stop this rant now before I start making enemies.

3. Know-it-all Atheists

Now, we all know someone like this, and it's usually someone that no-one really likes. We all know the sort of person I'm talking about: the sort of person who has a ready answer for everything, and won't stop until they have the last word. And the ones who are Atheists on top of all this are worse still.

The Know-it-all Atheist knows everything there is to know about everything there is to know about. Right? Wrong. 95% of the time, they make up bullshit just so they can have a say in the matter. It may not be a very intellectual thing to say, but at least they said something. If they know all and see all, then surely they can give a plausible answer as to WHY God doesn't exist. (I am a Christian, by the by.) Right? Wrong again. They're so shallow minded they dont even have time for other opinions, which, by far and large, contradicts their very nature. So there.

4. Maths

I've just come out of my GCSEs relatively unscathed, but if there was one exam I was Glad to see the back of, it was Maths. I can't see why people like it! It was alright until we got to Year 9... Up until then we were doing stuff that could be applied to everyday use e.g. Simple algebra and nets. However, at year 9, it all goes downhill.

Who REALLY needs to know that the Area of a Circle on a Graph = x² + y²? Or that a² + b² = c² in a right angled triangle? Only maths teachers. And the only use they have for it is to pass it onto us, who will then forget it anyway. Okay, there's probably a few jobs out there that use obscure equations comme ca but surely they should only teach it to those INTERESTED.

As for those who took A-level Maths... After looking at the Text Book and seeing you all continuing with your studies, I can official deem you all Insane.

Also, I realise I have vastly contradicted myself in my first paragraph, but that's only so that you Maths Buffs can realise the difference between applied and useless maths. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I got an A* in my GCSE maths, so I'm not bitching because I did badly.

5. Having to Think of a 5th Point when you only really had 4 things to say.

Yup, I've managed to bore you all with my first 4 points, and I can't really go much further without beeing deemed 'Politically Incorrect'...

...

I really hate Political Correctness. It seems you can't say anything nowadays without offending someone. You know what I say to someone who doesn't like my opinions? Tough Shit. I have my right to free speech, and I'm not going to let that be hindered by Political Correctness. Find someone who cares, and not even they will be able to do anything about it.

I feel better now that I have that off my chest, however expect another blog soon. Boredom is already beginning to sink in once more...